Monday, May 30, 2011

The Leaving Song

I am horrible at goodbyes. I don't like them. I cry, but keep trying to talk and stutter, and then I sound like the last place contestant on "Toddlers and Tiaras" (or, what I imagine they sound like...all big hair, sequins, and tears).

Anyways, for the past four years of my life, every summer comes with goodbyes. Lots of them. You'd think they'd get easier, but no, no...they've become more difficult. See, these goodbyes come with a completely different forecast than those of our past. Yes, saying goodbye to my childhood friends was so hard and sad, but there was the knowledge that we'd see each other at holidays or summers or whenever we were home. These more recent goodbyes, well, they aren't so lucky. While Nashville isn't our official "home", something about this place drew us all here and brought us all together. We've made this our home. We've filled it with laughter and the overcoming of obstacles, long talks about the future and baked goods, late night study sessions or days when all we did was eat pancakes and stay in pajamas. We've become a special type of family here, the kind that chose to be together.

And then, as expected but always unprepared for, summer rolls around. We pack up our stuff and leave this place. I hate it. I hate it more this year than I have ever before. It just doesn't seem fair, does it? It's not, but it happens anyways. So, I listen to music (and write some..but that is for another day) and smile every time I get a text, g-chat, call, notification of FB stalking, or a in-person reunion. Those are the best. Here are the songs I've been listening to:

1. "Step Outside"-Secrets in Stereo. (Emo, duh. Sorry, not sorry)
2. "Crashing Down"-Mat Kearney
3. "Hands Down"-Dashboard Confessional (I'm not sure why I keep listening to this...but man, I sure love it)
4. "Feeling a Moment"-Feeder
5. "All We Are"- OneRepublic
6. "5:19"-Matt Wertz (This is one of my favorite songs ever, ever)
7. "Everything Will Be Alright"-Matt Wertz (This song is happy and true)
8. "The Sophomore"-Ben Rector (This song is all about transition...)
9. "Where the Story Ends"- The Fray.
10. "Almost Everything"- Wakey!Wakey! (The title of this album is "Almost Everything I Wish I'd Said The Last Time I Saw You"..yup)

So, those are the songs I'm jamming to around town. Some of them are sad (I am an emotional feeder when it comes to music), some are happy (okay, one..whatever), some say the things that I didn't because it never felt like the right time or right place. I have a feeling that I'll be listening to those ones for a while.

Here's to the next chapter, one that will hopefully be filled with as many perfect memories as this one.

Love, love, love

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